


Forgive Me Father...

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Language, M/M, Sentinel Bingo Card, Sins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 12:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13787991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: Jim goes to confession because he isn’t sorry for what he did. The guilt is eating him up inside.Sentinel BingoPrompt: Sins





	Forgive Me Father...

Forgive Me Father...  
By PattRose  
Summary: Jim goes to confession because he isn’t sorry for what he did. The guilt is eating him up inside.   
Prompt: Sins  
Type of Fanwork: Fic  
Title: Forgive Me Father  
Genre: Slash  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 3303  
Beta: Bluewolf (Thank you, sweetie.)

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/Forgive%20Me%20Father_zpsg4lnsufw.jpg.html)

It had been two weeks since Jim had found the Kodak Killer and killed him. The monster, Jerome Teller, had killed nine little girls and there were four more missing. Jim had to take the shot. Teller had one girl in his arms and Jim knew that he was going to kill her soon. He loaded the rifle and took the shot. He hit him right in the heart. He was dead instantly. The little girl lived, the only survivor that they knew of. There were still those four missing and he was supposed to take a shot that would just wound him so they could question him about the other four. But Jim knew that he wasn’t going to let that little girl in his arms live. He had to take the shot. Just had to. 

In the last two weeks, Jim had stopped talking to just about everyone. And when he did talk to them, he was an asshole. He had no patience for anyone and took out all of his frustration on Blair and the others. 

Blair knew that Jim was hurting. Because of the shot he took, they didn’t find the four missing girls and if they had been alive, they would be dead by now. Jim knew he had killed them as surely as if he had pulled the trigger on them. Jim needed to talk to someone before he hurt someone or said something he couldn’t take back. 

When Jim got home that night, dinner was on the table and Blair had made him a mixed drink to relax with. 

They ate in silence, just like they had for the last two weeks. Jim only ate so he didn’t die. Not because it tasted good or he wanted it, but because he was afraid to die.

“Jim, I want you to see someone about the shot you took.”

“And who do you suggest I see, Blair? Is someone going to be able to find those four girls and bring them back to their families? And everything will be peachy keen again?” Jim was not only sarcastic but almost hateful. 

Blair sighed and said, “I’m sleeping in the office. I won’t sleep with a man that doesn’t try to make things better for himself.”

“I couldn’t care less, Blair. Move your shit down there forever if you need to. Because I’m not seeing anyone about the shooting.”

Blair got up, scraped his uneaten food off his plate and washed and dried it. He never once looked at Jim and didn’t plan on talking to him anymore that night. 

Jim moved his food around on the plate and whispered, “I’m sorry, Chief. I don’t want you to move into the office. I want you to sleep in our bed upstairs.” He actually looked like he meant it. Blair was falling into the trap so that he could move on. 

“Jim, I know you don’t care if I’m there or not. You haven’t looked at me, touched me or made love to me since the shooting. I think it would be best if I move in to the office. That way you have space and you can think about things. I’m truly sorry about the little girls that are missing, but I can’t deal with you any longer. I told Simon I was taking two weeks off. You’ll be partnered with Megan Connor.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. I’m down on my luck and you bail. Typical for you, Blair.”

“I’m not going to argue with you. Goodnight, Jim.”

And just like that he got some of his things from upstairs and moved into the office.

Jim threw his food in the trash and washed his plate. He sat down to watch the news but couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. _Damn that fucker, Teller. He’s making me pay for what I did to him. I’m fucked no matter what._

Jim grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. He didn’t even lock it, which wasn’t his usual behavior at all. He walked and walked and ended up standing in front of St. Boniface Church a mile from their house. Jim had gone to this church when he was young. Maybe he could get some answers here.

He walked in and the church was empty. Jim went over to the confessional and opened the door and knelt down. As soon as he did, the little door that separated them slid open and the priest said, “How can I help you tonight?”

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been 22 years since my last confession. I’m here tonight because I killed a man. It was in the line of duty, but I feel like I didn’t care. I was going to kill him anyhow.”

“You’re a policeman?” he asked. 

“Yes…”

“Was the man going to hurt someone?”

“He had a young girl in his arms with a gun up to her head. He planned on killing her just like he had killed all the rest of them.”

“So you had a chance to take a clean shot and you killed him?”

“Yes…”

“What do you mean, you didn’t care. Do you mean even if he would have given the girl up, you still would have shot him?”

“No, not at all. But I was supposed to take a different shot so that we could question him about the four girls that were still missing. I wanted him to pay for what he had done to those little girls and decided that he was going to die. I’m not a jury, what gave me the right to decide that?”

“I take it you’re Detective Ellison? I’ve read about you in the paper for two weeks now. There are a lot of people that are very grateful you took his life.”

“Yes, that’s my name. The parents of the four missing girls are very angry with me, with good cause.”

“Were they there? Did they see what you were up against? Did they ever see one of the little girls that he tortured, raped and killed? Because you did and you would look at things much differently.”

“No, they weren’t there. And thankfully they never saw one of the little girls after that monster finished with them. They were all between four and six years old. They were babies, really.”

“Did you look for the girls after the shooting?”

“Of course I did. But I didn’t find anything out. Nothing that would help those little girls rest in peace.”

“Did the monster have friends?”

“Not that we’re aware of,” Jim answered. 

“The reason I ask is because they usually have someone to fall back on in an emergency. They are usually just as sick as the first one. And maybe he still has the girls.”

Jim thought about that for a second and asked, “Do you know something about this case?”

“No, Jim, I don’t. But you need to focus on something else. Stop hating yourself for doing something that had to be done. God will decide what happens to him after he died. Do you say the rosary?”

“I haven’t in 22 years at least. Why?” 

“Your penance for the sins is a rosary. And for each child, you’ll say another Hail Mary. I promise you, Jim that you’ll get through this. You need to forgive yourself. Get busy and find his accomplice. I’m betting he has one and he’s lying low so that no one knows he has the girls. There also has to be a house somewhere where he is keeping them. Find it, Jim. Make it your new mission. And for the next week, you’ll say a rosary each night. Talk to God as you pray. He helps in mysterious ways. Come and see me when things get better, or if they get worse. I’m here for you, Jim.”

“What’s your name, Father?”

“I’m Father Ignatius. Come back again and talk to me.”

“I will, Father. Thank you.” 

“Bless you, my son.” 

Jim got up and walked out of the confessional. As he left the church he looked down at his watch and saw that it was later then he realized. He had talked to that priest for almost two hours. Jim felt somewhat better talking to him. Admitting that he hated the man and wanted him dead was a weight off his chest. 

When Jim got home the front door was locked and he opened it with his key. Blair was in the kitchen and asked, “Where were you<,> man? I was worried. Even when I’m mad at you, I still worry.”

Jim walked over and pulled Blair into his arms. “I’m sorry for being such an ass lately. I’m having a hard time dealing with Teller’s death. I went and talked to the priest at St. Boniface tonight. He helped me see things a bit clearer. And for my penance he gave me the rosary to say.” 

Blair pulled Jim down for a kiss. When he pulled away he said, “I’m glad you talked to someone. You can’t let something like that fester inside of you until you’re crazy from it.”

“The priest had some good ideas for the case. He wondered if Teller had a partner. And that’s why we haven’t found the four girls’ bodies yet. I’m hoping that you’ll help me look for anyone that had contact with Teller when we get to work tomorrow. Do you mind helping your ass of a partner?”

“Do you want to start tonight?” Blair wondered. 

“Yeah, I would like to get a jump start on it. There has to be someone that has those girls.”

“Let me get my shoes on, man. I feel good about searching for someone new. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

The two men got ready and walked down to the truck about twenty minutes later.

*

It was two in the morning and Jim was exhausted, but he and Blair had found someone that might have some answers. They couldn’t go at two in the morning, but they would go as soon as it was a reasonable hour to bother people. 

“Jim, this says that Teller and this guy named Ralph Wicker have been friends for years. They served time together in prison. I just bet we might get some answers from him.”

“I wonder if it’s a good address. Did you run his driver’s license?”

“Same address. And he also has a mom that lives in town if we can’t find him. Why didn’t we check this out earlier?” Blair inquired. 

“Because I was so worried about feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t think about the case once. Now, I’m back and I’m going to find this fucker.”

“Now, that’s the Jim I know and love,” Blair whispered. After all they weren’t in the bullpen alone. 

“I’m going to get us some coffee to help keep us awake,” Jim said. He got up and walked to the break room.

*

As they were driving to Wicker’s house, Blair asked, “So do you have a rosary?”

“Yeah. My mom gave me one years before she left. I saved it. But I haven’t said the prayers in so long that I’ll have to look them up.”

Rafe, Henri, Joel and Megan were following close behind Jim and Blair. They weren’t going to miss getting this guy if he indeed was the guy. If not, they would get some names out of him. 

They pulled up in front of his house and got out. Rafe and Brown went to the back yard, while Joel and Megan stayed at the curb. Jim and Blair walked up to the front door, Jim patting the warrant in his pocket, and Jim knocked. A sleazy looking man opened the door and said, “What?”

“Ralph Wicker?” Jim asked. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m Detective Ellison from Cascade PD. This is Major Crimes Consultant, Blair Sandburg. We have some questions to ask you.”

“Come back another time, I’m tired.”

“I’m afraid it’s this time or we take you downtown. Now, I suggest you let us in and we go from there,” Jim said forcefully. 

He backed down and let them in. The house was disgusting. Everything smelled. Jim could smell urine and feces very strongly. Jim asked, “Do you have a dog or cat?”

“No, just me.”

Blair could tell that Jim was listening for the girls. “Mr. Wicker, did you know Jerome Teller?”

“Yeah… I did time with him once. No, maybe it was twice.”

“What did you do time for, Wicker?” Blair asked. 

“I was framed. I never touched that little girl. But no one would listen to me and I had to do five long years for it.”

Jim asked, “Do you know where the four girls are that are still missing?”

“Of course I don’t. What a stupid question to ask.”

“Then you’ll be fine with my team coming in to search your home?” Jim pressed. 

“You have to have a warrant. I know the rules.”

“We have a warrant, Wicker.” Jim pulled it out and handed it to Wicker. Then he pulled out his phone and called his four members of his team in to help with the search.

“You can’t do this. This is just like last time. Someone is framing me.” Wicker looked frantic and crazed. 

Jim had already heard the little heartbeats down in the basement. So he knew they were going to find the girls and get them to the hospital. Jim was being extremely careful, he didn’t want anything to go wrong.

*

The ambulances came and took the four little girls to the hospital. Wicker kept saying he couldn’t do the time again. But Jim was ignoring him. 

Blair touched Jim’s back every now and then to ground him. Blair didn’t want an outburst and surely didn’t want him to shoot the stupid fucker. 

At that moment, Wicker went for Jim’s gun. He was getting a hold of it and Jim was having a hard time getting him under control when a shot rang out and hit Wicker in the arm. Megan stood there and said, “He was going to get Jim’s gun.”

Joel patted her on the back and said, “It was a clean shoot. Let’s get this man cuffed and in the ambulance.”

Jim walked up to Megan and said, “Thank you.”

“Thank you for finding these four little girls. Their parents are going to be so happy.”

Three hours later, they were back at the station filing their reports for the shooting and the arrest. Even in that short time, they learned that whatever Teller had done, Wicker hadn’t done anything to harm the girls. Jim was almost done which shocked the hell out of Blair, when the parents of the children came in. 

The first man came up and asked, “Are you the one that found our children?”

“There were six of us, sir. It was a team effort. I’m sorry it took us so long to figure it out,” Jim said. 

“Could you call all of them here so we can thank all of you at one time?” the woman standing next to the man asked. 

Jim said, “I’ll be right back. I’ll get everyone and you can meet them all.”

Jim introduced Megan, Joel, Rafe, Henri and Blair. Everyone shook hands and hugged. Even the fathers were hugging their angels of mercy. 

When it was all done, Simon came out and said, “Jim and Blair, you’ve been here all night. Take the next two days off. Paperwork is done, you can rest now.”

“Thanks, Simon,” Blair answered. “We are tired.”

“Get out of here. Have a nice and quiet two days off.”

Jim and Blair left and felt really good about getting the scum off the street. Those four little girls were going to have to go through a lot of therapy, but they were young enough that maybe it wouldn’t destroy them completely. 

As they were driving home, Jim turned on a different street. Blair looked over at him and asked, “Lost, man?”

“I told Father Ignatius that I would keep him up to date on the children. Do you mind?”

“No, not at all. I’ll sit in the truck and you go and talk to him. When we get home, I’m printing out the Hail Mary, The Lord’s Prayer and whatever else we need for the rosary. I’m going to pray too. Someone needs to be thanked for all this.”

Jim smiled and drove into the parking lot of the church. He leaned over and kissed Blair softly and said, “Thank you for everything. I’ll be right back.”

Blair smiled. “Take your time. I’m having a nap.”

Jim was hit with a feeling of love and friendship. Blair was the best. He needed to remember that. 

Jim walked into the church and saw Father Ignatius and smiled. He walked up to Jim and said, “Do you need the confessional or would you rather come to my office?”

“Your office would be good. Thank you, Father.”

Jim followed him into the rectory that was attached to the church. Father Ignatius opened the door to his office and asked, “Coffee?”

“Oh, I would love a cup of coffee.”

“Sit down. I’ll be right back.”

Jim looked around the office and saw it was decorated very modestly, just like the priest was. He wasn’t surprised at all. Father Ignatius walked in carrying two cups of coffee and handed one to Jim. “I’ve got cream and sugar in here.”

“I drink it black, thank you.”

Jim took a sip and smiled. “This is delicious. It’s nothing like I get at the station, believe me.”

“Okay, fill me in. What’s happened that has brightened up your mood?”

“I listened when you talked to me. I went home and told my partner about what you said and we decided to start looking for an accomplice. Sure enough, we found him. And even though I wanted to kill him, I didn’t even take my gun out. I knew you would be proud of me for using my better judgement.”

“So the children were alive?”

“Yes… The parents were so thrilled. The man in custody tried to shoot me, but one of my team shot him first. I feel good for the first time in ages.”

“Are you going to still say the rosary like I told you to do?”

“Yes, Father. I’ve forgotten how the prayers went, so my partner is printing up the prayers and he plans on saying the rosary with me. We both feel like God needs a lot of thanks for this one.”

“Your partner should bring you to church now and then. We would love to see you.”

“I can’t make any promises, Father. But we might surprise you and come some Sunday.”

“I give the 10:00 Mass. I hope to see you soon. I’m so glad that this all worked out for everyone.”

“Well, thank you for the coffee and for getting me on track. I need to get home. I hope to see you soon.”

Jim walked out with a smiling priest watching him. 

Jim got into the truck and Blair smiled at him. “I take it you feel great. You look great.”

“I do, Chief. Now, let’s go home, make something to eat, make love and tonight we’ll say a rosary and thank God for all of his help.”

“You got it, Jim.”

The end


End file.
